If we’re being utterly honest, we always find ourselves complaining about how every year sucks for all of us, no matter what year it is. Us humans will never be truly satisfied with anything we get.

But when I say 2020 has been the worst year for me, I really mean it this time.

This year, I have experienced hurt and learned so much. From getting myself and my whole family sick, to losing my loved one just after we recovered. Until this day, I still have no idea how I’m going to cope. I feel like I’m slowly losing my old self and am still searching to find a new one.

My friends don’t seem to get me or what I’m feeling. Nobody does, to be honest. I’m not blaming anyone, but I’m just so tired of pretending like my feelings don’t matter just because someone out there might have it worse than me.

And it makes me so sad because I always try my best to be there for anyone when they need me. Over the years, I have found myself feeling like I’m obliged to be strong and I have always kept all my feelings and problems hidden. Because I thought my feelings don’t matter and that they have it worse than me. Which leads me to realize how crazy that is for me to think that way, because no one should feel like their feelings are invalid.

That’s why I never understand why someone thinks being called “The Therapist Friend” is a privileged thing. Because to me, it’s not. How are you gonna call someone a therapist and treat them like one when they’re just a normal person with no such capabilities like real therapists have? 

Or has the so-called “The Therapist Friend” been romanticized so much, that us humans slowly get selfish without realizing it? Has the term been romanticized so much that everyone slowly thinks that erasing yourself from others become normal?