“Why do you seem so stressed all the time?”

That was what my friend asked me the other day.

It got me thinking: “Yes why? Why am I so unhappy?”

I had been contemplating about whether I should go to see a psychologist again for quite a while, but I held back thinking it was all in my head, this is just another phase, I’m not weak I don’t need to go to seek professional help. Because I did so a couple years ago and I thought I was fine.

Why? Because I often find myself stressing over some little things. My head is filled with irrational thoughts that aren’t real. That is just one example, I could go on and on talking about my anxiety.

And then this mental breakdown of mine came back to say hello. I gave up and finally made an appointment.

I’m sure some of you out there have gone through a similar situation or probably at the moment experiencing this. Well, you are not alone amigo.

Anxiety often becomes the subject for content on the internet, it is being discussed a lot on articles, personal blog, or even a Twitter thread. It is so common, but in the real world, I personally think people still look down or underestimate those who have anxiety. Even me to myself. The first thing I asked the psychologist in her practice room was “Is anxiety real?” She answered, “Yes it is.”

But there is something causing this anxiety, and that ‘something’ can vary, depending on the person.  

I’ve done all I could in the effort to ease this anxiousness which sometimes left me crippled with negative thoughts. But nothing seemed to work for a long term period. I need an answer.

I’ve decided to go because I felt like I couldn’t handle it any longer. I feel like I’m losing myself. Heck, it sounds so cliché, like what you would see in movies. But in real life, it’s not fun at all. 

I won’t go into details as of what causes my anxiety. In short, if I don’t try to fix it will take my happiness away for the rest of my life and I won’t let that happen.

If you think you have done everything in your power but things don’t seem to look up, it is probably best to seek professional help. If you hesitate to tell your family that you need help, ask your boyfriend/girlfriend, friends, or even your teacher. Someone who you can really trust and won’t judge you. Because the last thing you need is another negative input. Trust me, stay away from those people.

If you think that you can still handle it, that’s fine. Some people just aren’t comfortable telling strangers their deepest fear and insecurities. Just know that there are tons of possibilities out there to make yourself better. Just never ever give up and keep trying.

“Seeking professional help is not a sign of weakness” I’ve read this sentence on so many articles and writings and it is true. It is a sign of strength, a proof that you want to make things better for yourself, to be more compassionate towards yourself. There is nothing to be ashamed of. I apologize for sounding contradictory, but until today I only tell my condition to my closest friends, truthfully I’m still scared of people thinking that I’m some sort of a crazy person or a weirdo. But so long as my friends still accept me for who really I am and still want to hang out with me, that is honestly all I need. 

Keep in mind that a journey to better oneself is no easy path. Limit your expectations so you won’t be disappointed, but still do your best. Another useful insight is not to compare yourself with others, even if for instance people around you seem so successful and happy, that’s their life, not yours. Being bitter (or feeling small) when you see others’ triumphant won’t do any good. Everyone has their own storyline and timing. That was what my psychologist told me. I believe that human being is designed to grow regardless of their stage in life. Although I admit not doing any comparisons these days is indeed a very hard thing to do, especially with the existence of social media. Taking a break from it would be a good idea if you find yourself scrolling for eternities.

My whole experience with this situation has left me with a principle: be more kind and respectful to other people, because honestly we don’t know what kind of problems or difficulties that they have gone through or currently facing. 

This era when so many millennials are within the workforce, even more in the digital industry, everything has to move very quickly. It is easy to fall into a pit of nothingness, we neglect our own mental condition. It is best to check sooner rather than later.

So here I am asking you, my dear friend, how are you? Are you happy today?